


This is a Stupid Plan

by CheyanneChika



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Jedi, But there's still The Force, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Kidnapping, Minor Leia Organa/Han Solo, No One Reads My Tags | Tag Wranglers Read Your Tags, Standard Bank Robbing Trope Turned Firefly Fusion Fic?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 21:11:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11170158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyanneChika/pseuds/CheyanneChika
Summary: Luke gets kidnapped but ransomed for ten million...something, Anakin isn't sure.  But robbing a bank seems like the obvious plan.  Obi-Wan thinks this is stupid.Meanwhile, Han rationalizes grabbing a kid from the empty cargo hold.  Why would anyone sleep in a cargo hold anyway, he must be a hostage.  Lando, and Chewie, for that matter, also think this is stupid.Luke wants to go home before anyone can do anything stupid.That is...unlikely.





	This is a Stupid Plan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [luiny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luiny/gifts).



> For Luin, who sent this prompt to me at five am and goddammit why is my brain so susceptible to ideas when I first wake up?
> 
> Also, I'm sorry but the story has gone completely off the rails. It's got a mind of its own now. I'll let you know when I come up for air.

“This is a stupid plan.”

“Just shut up, Obi-Wan.  Until you can think of a better one, you can just shut the hell up!”  Anakin was ready to tear his gravity-defying hair right out of his head and let it float around.  “I can’t just do nothing.”

“I didn’t say do nothing, I just said that robbing a bank to pay space pirates is a dumb plan.  This isn’t a bad holovid, Ani.  Banks don’t actually work like that.”

“I know.  That’s why I thought I’d ask the best hack—code splicer I know to help.”

“I’m not helping you rob a bank.”

Anakin sighed.  He knew, he’d known going in, that Obi-Wan wouldn’t help him like this.  Obi-Wan would do anything to save his godson, up to and including killing space pirates, but he wouldn’t hurt innocents in the process unless absolutely necessary.

“What does Leia say?” Obi-Wan asked, breaking the hostile silence. 

Anakin tugged at his hair again.  “He’s not dead and not hurt.”  Twin telepathy was as useful as it was unhelpful.  “But that’s all she knows.”

Obi-Wan reached out and pulled his best friend into a hug.  “You know Padme wouldn’t like this.”

Anakin’s heart twisted at the thought of his perfect wife, currently off doing senate things and blissfully unaware of what had happened when pirates had boarded Anakin’s freighter, taking not cargo, but the teenager they found in the hold.  He briefly wondered what Luke had been doing that distracted him from  _pirates boarding_. 

Anakin had only reached the hold in time to see Luke’s limp body being carried off the ship by a Wookiee.  Only one man remained.  He was young and a bit ragged looking, he also looked like he was trying to hide something.  “Ten million if you want to see him alive again,” the man said with an attempt at a smirk, holding a blaster on Anakin so he couldn’t draw his own.

Then they were gone and Leia was screaming in her berth.

“They didn’t even say what they wanted ten million of,” Anakin murmured to Obi-Wan now.  “Credits? Wupiupi? Ducklings?”

“You won’t get ducklings if you rob a bank,” Obi-Wan murmured.  "Wupiupi either."  Everything ran on credits in the Republic.

“It doesn’t matter because I don’t have ten million anything!  We don’t have money like that!”  The confusion was evident in his eyes.  Even Obi-Wan was confused about why space pirates would ask such an outrageous amount unless they knew who Anakin was, or rather, who they thought he was.  A former general in the Grand Army of the Republic and married to a senator, most people would think they were well off, and they were, but not so well off that they had ransom money of that caliber lying around. 

“Anakin, why would they think you had that sort of money?”

Anakin frowned.  “I don’t know.”

“Maybe they just didn’t want you coming after them.”

“Maybe—” Ugh, it didn’t matter now.  He was going to give them the damn money, somehow, and then get his son back.  “Obi-Wan…”

Obi-Wan nodded.  “I’ll be your alibi.”

At least he would cover for him.

“Thanks.”  Anakin smiled slightly and darted out of the apartment door.  He had no plan beyond tricking a bank into pouring funds into his account.

Now he just had to figure out the how.

**To be continued...**

**Author's Note:**

> So I have no idea if this is good or not. Let me know and thanks for reading!!!


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